Recently I read and article by Buzzfeed UK about the fragility and sheer insecurity of masculinity that we all (not only men) have. You can take a look at it by clicking here.
While I was reading it, I was wondering that how the whole process works. Commodities, advertising, the falsified notions, men and women buying these projections, notions into practice, practice into daily routine, routine into culture and so on. I mean, come on? I can’t help but thinking about the shallow notions made by the society of what masculine and feminine nature should be. And the worst part is that: These two notions DO NOT exist independently. Their sphere of working collides, and realistically, it is against women.
Coincidentally, I had another experience Today to make me believe how far we have fallen into these traps of demarcation of features and characteristics called essentialism. Men have to be controlling,dominating, ruthless and, women have to be supportive, submissive, and innocent-like. I am cent percent sure that these are the notions not believed by many of us ( at least that is what I hope for); but the embedded nature harnessed and seeded by the society brings out these.
As I was telling earlier, I had an experience as an evidence of this.
I am currently working in a project which off course has Women and Men alike. The Head is a man, and I am working under his supervision. Let’s name that person A for convenience. ( I mean I have to be mysterious and all cliched like, right?) So, A is a person I have made acquaintance with and seems pretty amiable. He keeps on giving all of us subordinate to him importance by saying that the project is not his but all of ours, and we are equal to him. I do not believe this, because come on, I am being paid for a task for that project, it is not as if that particular project is my brain-child or I will be there permanently throughout. But that doesn’t mean that we are not attached to the project.
So, one day, A had to contact me for some directions and all. And what i nightmare it was. I mean the nightmare that I as a girl hadn’t thought about until now. I was being cutoff in the middle of my sentences, I was being mainspalined, my voice was being overpowered by his loud volume, my views were dismissed as if being like that of a peasant. And let me get this thing straight, except for the positions in the project, everything between us is equal like, age, talent, capabilities. I mean dude, I was just giving my opinion on the project; did my opinion just hurt your masculinity so much that you had to behave like this. I am so sorry for you.
I had a thought about leaving that said project, but on second thoughts I have decided to stay. Not because, I am getting paid, or not because I am going to put up with this behavior but because, the next time this happens, I am going to speak the words I have written here, and then leave.
Why is it so hard to accept that women can have opinions as good and even much better than yours, men? Even if they are not brilliant according to you can you just stop dehumanizing them?