Letter to every mother from a regretting child on this Mothers Day

Dear Mumma

I write this letter not to wish you a mother’s day. I write to feel sorry that you have to live this day where your children are supposed to thank you; and they do thank you, but yet they do not value you. I rather be straightforward because I know now your time is precious. You live each second of your day to fulfill the needs of your children. You might be preparing food for them now, or maybe dropping them off to school, thinking about how to let your rebellious teen know that you still do care about them, or maybe to get a makeover so that your children know that you are keeping up with the ‘modern times’, even if the cost is completely forgetting yourself and your comfort.

We are fortunate that we got technology. But you leave this to our materialistic tendencies that we use to share our life and not express it. I opened my instagram today, and I found my feed full of People kissing/hugging their mothers with hashtags #mothersday #loveyoumom #nothingwithoutyou became an instant popular item. I do not intend to project that I am against such posts because nothing is wrong in that. I am against, what I call, the hypocritical posts.

I am sorry that your children  are only concerned with the filter to put on instagram so that your imperfections get unnoticed and they get to prove that their momma is as cool as ever. I am sorry that they are concerned only with the likes and retweets on your picture with them. I am sorry that they invest their love and time for you into things that do not matter and do not make ‘Real Memories’.

Off course, not every child is like that. If he expresses your love with even a simple thing as much as a hug or a kiss or lending a hand with the laundry or even asking you about your feelings, I consider that child lucky as he got to make memories that will make him smile after whatsoever when year he might not be able to be with you or you might not be able to be with him.

This is to every mother whether or not she experienced the above, whether she received a hug, kiss, card, a gift, a social media post, or just a letter like this because you might be reading this miles away from where I am now.

Mumma, you are strong as anyone can ever be for us and all the people that are a part of your life. And I do know that it might happen that this token of appreciation and tons of love might not do anything as you will continue to love and care for us even if we forget to wish you. But, I believe that every once in a while you need to know that you can be open with your children, it is okay to express yourself, because anyone can provide you with the things that money can buy but  I want to give you my time, my ear, and my heart to understand you, feel you, and make you feel that I am there for you no matter what.

 

Differences

I am a 17 year old living in a country where the sole definition of anything isn’t uniform. I live in India – Where even though it was called ‘Hindustan’ in ancient times, today Hindus live along with Muslims, Sikhs, Christians, Buddhists, Parsis, and many more religions and even atheists; where the history of the orthodox patriarchal society is being challenged, where the once hopeless are now taking up the daunting tasks to put their heats and show the world what they got.But this blog is about something that was a part of a recent intense discussion that I had with another person.

India has been defamed recurrently of being unsafe for women both foreign and native, and unfortunately the statistics do provide a speck of truth to it. But why is it?.. is the prime question around which we both exchanged a lot of heat.

Feminism in its basic meaning advocates for women empowerment in every sphere and I proudly claim myself as a feminist but for the right reasons only. It is presumptive to myriad of people that it is about the belief that women have which says,”WOMEN are BETTER than MEN!” only few people understand that it is not about dominance of only one sex.

It is more about the rare belief that says, “WOMEN are equal to MEN, IT IS ABOUT TIME to treat us like equals!”

But this then points out to the common belief, in India particularly, projected by the much more orthodox sections of the society that still  believe in the virtues of a patriarchal society: It is this belief that is the reason that crimes against the women are performed.

According to them, women try to bridge the biological and social differences that were made and created for a particular reason. For them it is not justified that women wear jeans, skirts, tops or anything that is not a kurta or a saree!

For them, it is the openness of the society in communication, the open minds, the liberal minds, the minds that want to take risks, that want to get what they rightly deserve, the minds that do not fear  to challenge the norms.

Agreed, that yes, there are biological and social differences. It would be succumbing to cowardliness to avoid the fact that there are some things that women have much more difficulty in doing than men; like even till now we cannot roam at midnight without being catcalled; it is a common attitude that it is the woman who is the home maker and the man a bread winner, it is difficult for women to make a mark righteously in the cruel word.

But more than this it would be succumbing to ignorance if we believe that these differences are impossible to overcome. It would be sheer foolishness and doubt in the courage that women possess to believe that we are unequal for a reason.

 

After all, It all comes down to acceptance and respect for each other.

 

When Malala Yousefzai Proved me Wrong

Yesterday  I finally decided to watch the much appraised documentary – He Named Me Malala.

Whenever i think about the ‘Advocate for Girl’s Education’ that is nearly my age I go back to that time in 2013 when her bravery was on the headlines of every newspaper. She was shot in her face on the left side by the terrorist organisation that was named  The Taliban.

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At that time I was not much informed about the situations in which Pakistan was engulfed, the life of people where terrorism was prominent, their hardships and their suppression. I was an ignorant. At that time I had dared to assume that Malala was just an ordinary girl. I had thought that

 She was just any GIRL who just got lucky. Got lucky to be famous and had got the attention of the media by chance.

I had never taken her bravery, her work, her contribution to the right cause in an appreciable perspective. I attributed her work as just mere chance, nothing else.

In 3 years my view has changed 180°. Now she is an inspiration to me. I see her as a role model. But it would be unbelievable if I didn’t tell you the reason for this change of attitude.

Off course, my level of knowledge about this cause helped me to understand the situation better but more than that the utmost reason that became a true follower of Malala happened much more recently.

I had been gifted the novel ‘I am Malala’ by my school due to my excellent contribution to the school. I had started reading it much more recently after i knew I would be able to accept what the novel was to offer me with an open mind. My curiosity led me to watch the documentary I mentioned above.

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In the documentary there was a small section that said a lot. It showed those people who just like me in 2013 thought of her work as fake.

It was quite ironical to show that segment just after her whole life full of suffering, hard work and most importantly perseverance was depicted.

I had my attitude changed especially after I realized the irony above. So I made it a point write this blog. Even if no one reads it, it would satisfy me. After all, Malala proved me wrong, for the good.

Malala was indeed an ordinary girl but with extraordinary courage to lead a cause with such gravity.

It will never be Enough

Yes, that is what the title said – It will never be enough. Not even the good, not even the bad…

The good things in life, the sweet memories, the experiences, the pictures of the happy days would never be enough. Would they?
“The photographs are not enough, we could have taken more, more moments could have been captured”; ” I wish I could have one more month of school, I could live my experiences again”…

And the same goes to the bad ones. Isn’t it? You put all your hardwork and spirit to do something, to be approved but it will never be enough…You put all your heart to change the world,for good offcourse, but now is not world that counts your intention or your effort. Is it?

The expectations go higher and higher. Are we, never content with oursleves, with our limitations? And even if we are, it is only when we don’t have any expectations. Evidently, we never grade  surprises, because they are unexpected, unplanned and just experienced. But after sometime even they would not be enough. We need more surprises, more love, more friends, more money, more respect…

And in this, it is less of satisfaction we aquire, less of peace and less of our own happiness. Not the happiness that we get from outer world- the number of friends, money, acceptance from your peers…, but the happiness that we get when we peek inside. That is what happiness, peace, whichever word you pick…is!

If you peek inside, and see yourself contented, then you will know that all of it was enough.

Until next time

Hello to The ‘Bumfuzzling’ theory of ‘What’s Next?’

What’s next?

What’s the option that will ‘Be the future’? What is the option that is ‘better than today’s’? Accepted by all, embraced by all? 

What is New? 

 ‘What’s next?’ seems to be the maxim for everyone nowadays. The motto of being ‘in trend’;fitting into the crowd of ‘next’ or commonly ‘new’, has made me pen my thoughts in this blog.

The Society says: Gone are the days when people were valued and praised for their innocence, now it is ‘useful’ to be worldly. That is ‘next’.

The Social Butterfly says : Gone are the days when I used to call someone. Its time to text rather than call. Who would like to waste time over calling? That is ‘in trend’.

The ‘Ambitious’ says: Gone are the days when I used to be with true friends. Its time to just remain connected with everyone who is popular. That is ‘next’.

Am I not correct? The mindset of the world is reflected above, people. Isn’t it?

But then it is what it is, what is so ‘Bumfuzzling’ about it? The thing that perplexes me is the consequences of What’s next. The hypocrite nature of What’s next.

The ideal of what’s next abandons everybody who refuses to embrace it. And the one abandoned, whichever way he tries, however much he tries, he will never be accepted unless he accepts the next, accepts the rules by which the society runs. And mind you people, Man is  a social being and cant live away from fellow beings. At least he will be not happy. He will need the security of respect and acceptance.

“However brightly a piece of coal may be burning, it will soon burn out if you remove it from the flames. However intelligent a man may be, he will soon lose warmth and his flame if he distances himself from his fellow man…”

Source: Like the flowing river by Paulo Coelho

Another thing that, in fact, makes me laugh is the hypocrite nature of what’s next. The theory wants one to be worldly, but with the tag of innocence. It wants us to be technologically upgraded but also reiterates the importance of face to face conversations, family time and all. It wants us to be with popular people who are assets but then in the end it signifies the importance of moral values and true relationships. It is like people who share cleanliness videos on Facebook and themselves throw litter in the open. It’s like promotion of selflessness by being selfish.

They talked of love and preached of love,. But did not act so lovingly,.

Source: Childhood by Markus Natten

This is what our world is all about, I think. Progressing ruthlessly and recklessly. Maybe, that is what is needed now – Acting without thinking. Maybe the cliché of ‘Think before acting’ is changing. For good or worse is yet to be seen.

Comment your thoughts.

Until Next time…