We are a journey of accomplishing Perfectionism, but the perfectionism lies in Continue reading
Every night. Every dawn. Every morning.
Prayers greet and guide her.
Yet, a cruel reminder are those tears
Of what the prayers cannot grant her.
Disclaimer: It depends on the readers how they perceive it. Some might find it exaggerated, some might find it funny, and some might find it as revelation of some sort. Either ways, my purpose is solved.
ON 21st November, my worries end, and i finally get an opportunity to have a deep conversation with a perfectionist, after he commits perfect MISTAKE!
10 Minutes Before The Talk:
It is the day, the GOLDEN DAY ( if i should emphasize) when he gets a chance to do something great. Address 1800 people, 10 esteemed people of the country, open the awaited ceremony and definitely prove himself to the doubting world… But Alas! (If i should be dramatic) the cliched mistake happens… one moment and he is BLANK! another moment and he is STAMMERING! ANOTHER MOMENT and he is enduring THE DISAPPOINTMENT…
30 Seconds before The Talk:
(If i should be quick) Done. I am done. I am a failure. And this is the end of my good sweet life.
Me: Hey How could you even do this?
Me: Now what? Nothing will be the same. Nothing, you will be a laughing stock, as usual.
Me: Say something! Ask others, what do they feel? Did they get the mistake? Ask your mentors! Ask your friends! Ask your enemies! Ask the strangers! Ask every other person!!!
Perfectionist: OKAY! I ACCEPT IT. I MADE A MISTAKE. But you know what?Looking back the 10 minutes that went, I am HAPPY AND FEELING PERFECT, that I made the unintentional mistake. Yes, I admit that If I wouldn’t have done that MINOR mistake, It would be perfect for me. But it would BE PERFECT, I might not have FELT PERFECT.
Perfectionist: And yes for others, it will be an explosion of their expectations from me, but I realized that they DO NOT matter. Only it is me and my perception that matters, similar to what a perfectionist feels, but minor changes in the beliefs. I am still a perfectionist as you have been calling me all day, but yes it is different now.
Perfectionist: I will still strive for perfection. It will still be for my own ego and expectations from myself. But now, whatever happens, whatever the consequences be, PERFECT OR IMPERFECT, it wont matter to me, because now only my capabilities matter and what they yield. (If i should put it in a philosophical manner)
Me: My purpose is solved, my friend. Go on. Complete your job of the day.
After the Talk:
The day ends with Revelation and,much more than happiness, it ends with content. Satisfaction. Ecstasy. The ‘Perfectionist’ is the same person who is writing these words you are reading. The person is the same. Still a perfectionist, but with a different belief. The perfectionist will make mistakes and will not freak about it. The perfectionist will learn from them. Make something PERFECT out of them.
Until Next time
The letter came.
Honored. Ecstatic. Hopeful. Unexpected.
Maybe life was not hard as she had first thought. Maybe someone had recognized after all, what was the war within and had given her the antidote. Maybe someone saw. Saw and accepted. Accepted and Embraced. Embraced and gave.
But, maybe Life is a teaser. Blink of an eye and the reality dawns.Mirrors are just reflections, reflections of reality that you wish were made more of the fantasies.
Rejection. Desperation. Chaos. Despair.
Yet, the resolution was made. After all, we give what we have. She gave her decision. Time was all that was needed. Needed to show, to prove and to heal. Time is what IS needed.
The letter came,
Now, it is a reminder.
Her hands were strong. Robust. Whoever held them felt her support and warmth. Dependence. Acceptance.
Only once did they ever let their guard off. In front of Him. Her everything.
But her lines, scarred and burnt. Endeavoring to make their own destiny. Make own future. Make ownself.
Yes, that is what the title said – It will never be enough. Not even the good, not even the bad…
The good things in life, the sweet memories, the experiences, the pictures of the happy days would never be enough. Would they?
“The photographs are not enough, we could have taken more, more moments could have been captured”; ” I wish I could have one more month of school, I could live my experiences again”…
And the same goes to the bad ones. Isn’t it? You put all your hardwork and spirit to do something, to be approved but it will never be enough…You put all your heart to change the world,for good offcourse, but now is not world that counts your intention or your effort. Is it?
The expectations go higher and higher. Are we, never content with oursleves, with our limitations? And even if we are, it is only when we don’t have any expectations. Evidently, we never grade surprises, because they are unexpected, unplanned and just experienced. But after sometime even they would not be enough. We need more surprises, more love, more friends, more money, more respect…
And in this, it is less of satisfaction we aquire, less of peace and less of our own happiness. Not the happiness that we get from outer world- the number of friends, money, acceptance from your peers…, but the happiness that we get when we peek inside. That is what happiness, peace, whichever word you pick…is!
If you peek inside, and see yourself contented, then you will know that all of it was enough.
Until next time
…And in her eyes she saw, her past, her pain and her pursuit of happiness.
On a lovely day when an unfortunate thing happens, All you can do is either be a rock and remain indomitably strong or you can burst out crying and just let it all flow out.
Today she chose the latter. Today she chose to let her heart win. But as soon as she did that, her mind filled her heart with guilt – How can you be weak when you have been strong all along. Been brave.
But at the end of the day she learnt that when the life is not playing along with your harmony, may be some smaller figure, a smaller picture, can be just the ending you need for your day. And most of the time it will be unexpected. Such a joy. Isnt it?
That was a man. Not just any man – an old man. She thought it was a regular thing. Meeting people, listening to them, but you not being listened to. Irony.
The man although thrice of her age held something in common with her. Heal and Help.
She couldnt sense that he had seen the storm churning inside her. The confusion of past, the sadness of today and the desperation for having a secure future. So all he did was just say the words she has been hearing all along, been all along – You are one brave strong girl. You can achieve anything-
Simple yet strong. Filled with trust. A trust from a stanger.
It wasn’t a surprise for her though. It was a reminder.
We don’t need words that make us happy. We need reminders, reminders out of nowhere, that we will have what we want ,that we will reach somewhere, there is something good in each bad and great in each worst. In each hopeless thing ever-There is little bit of good and little bit of great .
Until next time
What’s the option that will ‘Be the future’? What is the option that is ‘better than today’s’? Accepted by all, embraced by all?
What is New?
‘What’s next?’ seems to be the maxim for everyone nowadays. The motto of being ‘in trend’;fitting into the crowd of ‘next’ or commonly ‘new’, has made me pen my thoughts in this blog.
The Society says: Gone are the days when people were valued and praised for their innocence, now it is ‘useful’ to be worldly. That is ‘next’.
The Social Butterfly says : Gone are the days when I used to call someone. Its time to text rather than call. Who would like to waste time over calling? That is ‘in trend’.
The ‘Ambitious’ says: Gone are the days when I used to be with true friends. Its time to just remain connected with everyone who is popular. That is ‘next’.
Am I not correct? The mindset of the world is reflected above, people. Isn’t it?
But then it is what it is, what is so ‘Bumfuzzling’ about it? The thing that perplexes me is the consequences of What’s next. The hypocrite nature of What’s next.
The ideal of what’s next abandons everybody who refuses to embrace it. And the one abandoned, whichever way he tries, however much he tries, he will never be accepted unless he accepts the next, accepts the rules by which the society runs. And mind you people, Man is a social being and cant live away from fellow beings. At least he will be not happy. He will need the security of respect and acceptance.
“However brightly a piece of coal may be burning, it will soon burn out if you remove it from the flames. However intelligent a man may be, he will soon lose warmth and his flame if he distances himself from his fellow man…”
Source: Like the flowing river by Paulo Coelho
Another thing that, in fact, makes me laugh is the hypocrite nature of what’s next. The theory wants one to be worldly, but with the tag of innocence. It wants us to be technologically upgraded but also reiterates the importance of face to face conversations, family time and all. It wants us to be with popular people who are assets but then in the end it signifies the importance of moral values and true relationships. It is like people who share cleanliness videos on Facebook and themselves throw litter in the open. It’s like promotion of selflessness by being selfish.
They talked of love and preached of love,. But did not act so lovingly,.
Source: Childhood by Markus Natten
This is what our world is all about, I think. Progressing ruthlessly and recklessly. Maybe, that is what is needed now – Acting without thinking. Maybe the cliché of ‘Think before acting’ is changing. For good or worse is yet to be seen.
Comment your thoughts.
Until Next time…